Hurtful

I wish I didn't know what is love in past. The feeling of loving a person more than anyone else. Missing the person you love everyday without fail. Now, it hurts so badly. I wish I could move on.

Fake smile behind a happy face

It's the same thing over and over again. Bursting into tears when I think of him. I tried not to especially when it is time for me to sleep. I do smile a lot this past few days but people don't see the tears behind my fake smiles. Each night, I tell myself "You're doing great without him because he's doing great without you too." Yeah, maybe he's doing great without me but I'm not. All I want is him to be here. Just wanting his presence.  That's all. I want to message him but sadly, he blocked my number. I want to call him but I have nothing to say. I direct message him at Twitter but he didn't reply.  I know I'm clapping on one hand and he doesn't even want to respond. I really miss his presence. There's nothing I could do but to blog about it so it would be better for me. This few days, I keep thinking about him. I miss him a lot till I placed his tee shirt with me to bed every single night. Every time I hope he reads my blog and misses me too. I am alive but my heart dies and tears will not stop rolling down my cheeks. I hate that. My feelings are blank. I got to put a fake smile to the people around me. Laughing real hard and makes everyone thinks that i'm happy. Keep reminding myself to move on. There's a saying, "Life is easy, people makes it complicated.